Saturday, November 27, 2010

Post Turkey Day Tribute

The following names make me think of food, which is closely tied to this wonderous holiday we have just celebrated. Enjoy!

1. Rafael Bartellus
2. Tharold Karskadden
3. Josiah Breckinridge

This post is by no means high quality, but merely an icebreaker to the severe drought this blog has suffered in recent weeks.

Viceroy

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Trifecta for the Week

The following three names will not have a summary to accompany them. The names are meant for entertainment to the degree that they are even remotely humorous. Much thanks to all recent contributors.

1. Damascus Matterhorn
2. Bartellus Pixelstick
3. Magratten Daggerlee

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fenix Rayne - it's where the bowling ball meets the road

Fenix grew up like most girls of her generation and to recount her childhood tales here would be a taxing and arduous task that I will not bore the audience with at this time. What makes her story so unique is her association with one of our very own authors. You see, Fenix (originally born Adeline Lafarian Myers) joined a bowling league in high school and excelled in the game so well that she was actually able to make quite a healthy living for herself. She began competing all over the world and as you may have already guessed, got mixed up with the wrong crowd in her travels (seems to be a trend actually). To describe how and under which circumstances the next segment of her life unfolded is altogether unimportant and, frankly, quite obscene...borderlining on pornographic. It will suffice to say that her new profession required a name change, which she made permanent several years later. It was supposed to be spelled without the "y" but there was an apparent error in the paperwork that she never bothered fixing because once everything was finalized, she realized she was really quite fond of its uniqueness. Fenix was, of course, more affectionately known as Miss Rayne and by the words in purple flashing lights on the front of her work building which said, "LET IT RAYNE". People would come from all over to "make it Rayne" while she danced from table to table and performed acrobatics that would put Cirque du Soleil to shame. Until one day.....

It was a clear summer night when that traveling road warrior on a lifetime quest for adventure walked in the doors and swept her off her feet. His name was none other than Napoleon J. Farewell, and as she jumped around his waist and took his shirt off in an effort to encourage the aforementioned "rayne," a conversation sparked and she discovered the largely unknown truth behind his middle name. You see, many people know it but few are aware of the proper spelling. So, as Napoleon Jaymes Farewell stared into her eyes, she donned his gift shop cowboy hat and did something she'd never done in all her years in the business. She offered him a 'two for one' and the rest, as I do believe they still say, is history. His voice could be heard even in the streets as he carried her off shouting "BUY ONE, GET ONE!!!" It was never a doubt in either of their minds from that day on that they were meant for each other all along. They still think back on the hours of intercourse (as in: conversation) they shared that night and occasionally drive by the old establishment which still bears the original flashing sign and a plaque commemorating her years of dedicated service. It reads: "To the Farewell's, you'll always be our Mrs. Rayne and we wish you both the best. But never forget, it's your turn to LET it Rayne!"