Caprese Buckingheim

Caprese??? Like the Caprice Classic known far and wide across delinquent lower income African American neighborhoods around the country? No, says I. The actual pronunciation is kuh-pre-zee and I am sure you can all figure out the last name. I had to come up with another adequate last name given Stackerson was already claimed by another gentleman I cannot recall.

Anyway, Caprese is the offspring of a Bulgarian harlet and an Italian merchant who made a living in Milan trading various dry goods. While away looking for materials in the dregs of Eastern Europe, they met and spawned Caprese. In order to neutralize the cultural influence of his parents, Caprese moved to the South of France where he lives in a 2 man Coleman tent with aerobed and raises a number of goats to use for his own benefit as milk and meat, not to mention general companionship. He is a huge proponent of monogamy yet has not found the right lass to wrangle into his eternal clutch. He also like pistachios and yodeling. While he dreams of becoming a contestant on American Idle, he would gladly settle for a small role in Law & Order.